Overdue and timely.

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Overdue indeed. But when one finds an addicting Korean show after shopping for some even more addicting Korean food, blogging is a faraway duty. But I do love to write, so here goes.

Yay! The week of baking for the hubby is now officially over – it’s truly bittersweet. Bitter because I did enjoy being so productive with such a heart of service. Sweet because I get to relax once the baby goes to bed. The big finale was the infamous (in our own family of three) Hazelnut Chocolate Chip Cookies. According to my husband, they are the best cookies he has ever had in his life. That’s saying a lot, knowing him. Hubs is the most honest food judge I know. He is horrible at lying about whatever I cook for him. So when he says it’s good, I believe him. I felt pretty good, watching this grown man eat cookies like a little kid – quite fulfilling as his wife.

The cookies were not too difficult to bake. The hardest part of the recipe was making the hazelnuts into a powder. Joanne warns the reader not to over-grind the nuts because it can turn into paste. I got real close. That’s what I get from using a blender instead of a food processor. But other than that, it was pretty darn easy, especially after getting used to her style of baking recipes.

My thoughts after the big finale: it was worth the exhaustion and the constant dreading to help my husband feel loved. Service fulfilled my heart and my husband’s belly (and I’m sure, his heart). I already knew this in my head, but to see such happiness and security added to our relationship and marriage by just one act of going out of my way to love on my husband was quite astounding.

The wonderful people who did our pre-marital counseling emphasized the importance of serving each other. How marriage succeeds with a culture of service. When I decide to serve my husband, loving him in the way he understands, it brings a level of security and assurance that can’t be shaken. The memory of being served by the one you love helps you push through in moments of conflict. Of course, it’s really successful when BOTH the husband and wife serve each other. If one side is selfish, it’s impossible to have a healthy relationship.

I always struggled with selfishness in our relationship. Although I served him in certain ways, there were many times I put my own desires above our relationship. I didn’t realize I was doing that until I started to more actively serve him.

An unarticulated misunderstanding many of us have is that serving others can be exhausting and at times, painful. This can be true, but the truth is, the reward of putting my spouse before me, my friends before me, my children before me (this one is easy for us mamas) is way beyond the exhaustion and the temporary pain. The joy that comes from serving the one I love is unexplainable. And the humility that comes with it…well, it can’t be taught. You need to DO it to experience it.

The sweet baked goods brought me loads of sweet revelation – always a plus. I might start another challenge soon, but I’m giving myself a break for now. In the mean time, I intend to enjoy some good Korean TV, Doritos and my heating blanket – a ritual when the baby takes his nap. I’m not ashamed – I convince myself that the shows keep my Korean going. And I am well convinced. So ta-ta for now!

Quick add-on, about 3 months later: I finally re-read this entry, re-realizing how much I love to write. I was also reminded of the need to serve, rather than expect to be served. Quite timely, in a quite ironic fashion. Love these moments!

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